Pirate or Crab?

• Did you know that a crab's teeth are in their stomachs? Just like a pirate, after a good fist fight.

• A crab is one quarter meat, and three quarters crusty exterior. Just like yer Captain, arrrr.

• Crabs walk sideways, and so do pirates (the really drunk ones).

•  Crabs tend to be aggressive towards each another and males often fight to gain access to females. Need I point out the obvious correlation?

• Crabs can live on land as long as they can keep their gills moist with sea water. Pirates can live on land as long as they keep their livers moist with rum.

• Crabs are talkative. They 'speak' by drumming their claws or flapping their pincers. This is very much like the body language of a pirate telling an adventure story in a pub.

• Crabs are omnivorous, meaning they eat plants as well as animals. Really, they'll eat just about anything. Pirates ain't too picky either, just look at previous entries in this blog, fer example!

• On rocky beaches, crabs will often fight over crevices in the rocks to use for hiding places. Pirates fight over hammocks, coils of rope, rowboats, or any other place useful for sleeping off the rum.

A pirate walks in to a restaurant and says,
“Do you serve crabs here?”

The hostess replies,
“We serve everyone.  Have a seat.”

January 17th is National Hot Buttered Rum Day

And if January 17th is National Hot Buttered Rum Day, then for the Scoundrel Fleet every day of the year must be January 17th.

Did you know this snuggly drink first appeared in New England in the 1650's?  Toddies and Nogs were already popular, but as distilleries started to spring up, colonists started splashing some rum into their hot drinks, and the rest is warm, spicy, boozy history.

You can make your own hot buttered rum batter quite easily!  I like this recipe, myself.  Yum yum. 

Everything Octopus!

I stumbled across this delightful blog tonight and just wanted to share.

Everything Octopus

Enjoy! 

Ye Want Me Ta Punch Ya?

Artillery Punch. Even the name promises to deliver with a bang. There are many variations on this famous old recipe out there - poke around and made a bowl (or a barrel) full of the one you like the best. But yer a pirate and you've got a busy schedule already, so I'll share two popular versions right here!

Original Chatham Artillery Punch

8 lemons
1 pound superfine sugar
750-milliliter bottle bourbon or rye
750-milliliter bottle Cognac
750-milliliter bottle dark Jamaican rum
3 bottles Champagne or other sparkling wine
Nutmeg

1. Squeeze and strain the lemons to make 16 ounces of juice. Peel the lemons and muddle the peels with the sugar. Let the peels and sugar sit for an hour, then muddle again. Add the lemon juice and stir until sugar has dissolved. Strain out the peels.

2.Fill a 2 to 3-gallon bucket or bowl with crushed ice or ice cubes. Add the lemon-sugar mixture and the bourbon, Cognac and rum. Stir and add the Champagne. Taste and adjust for sweetness. Grate nutmeg over the top and serve.

Yield: About 25 drinks for normal landlubbers.   Or ONE drink for a pirate.

And here's another variation. Actually, this one is much closer to the recipe I'd always heard of, as it includes tea. Because we are all about the social niceties, now, aren't we?

1 quart strong black tea
1 quart rye whiskey
1 bottle red wine
1 pint Jamaican dark rum
1/2 pint brandy
1 jigger benedictine herbal liqueur
1 pint orange juice
1/2 pint lemon juice

Combine all the ingredients in a large punch bowl with a block of ice. If found too dry, sugar syrup may be added. Decorate with twists of lemon peel.

There are many variations on this famous old recipe out there - poke around and made a bowl (or a barrel) full of the one you like the best.

And now a bonus recipe! Just today I learned of Verity Holloway's delightful blog. I will be reading more of it soon. For now though, here's what drew me in.

"I have a Christmas treat to share with you: Mama Frances Rossetti’s recipe for a frightfully boozy rum punch!"

Pirate Coffee, Armadan Style

Now, the official drink of Armada is of course RUM! but sometimes ye might want something to crack yer eyes open wider, or perhaps you crave a hot strong substance to stir rum into on a chilly evening.  In either case, you need to brew some coffee.

Landlubbers swear you need to have a fancy pot and special water and grinders but the average ship's galley doesn't have room for silly things like that. Doesn't mean you can't brew up a fine cuppa joe, though. You just need to get a bit inventive.

First, you need to make a fire, cause you want your coffee hot, right?  The ships cook probably doesn't want you bothering him while he's cookin' yer dinner, so the polite thing to do is start a fire somewhere else on the ship.  A bucket will work. Fill it full of belaying pins and bits of rags (or yer bunkmates old pants, you don't want to be smelling them another night anyway) and set a match to it.

Now you need a pot for yer coffee.  Got another bucket?  Good enough.  Fill it with water, NOT from the sea. Trust me on that, I won't make that mistake more than, oh, four times. Set that bucket into the flaming bucket and cross yer fingers.  With luck, you'll have boiling water soon.

While your waiting, ponder the beans. Check the haul from yer last raid, I'm betting there's a bag of coffee beans in there somewhere.  Take big handful of them out and hit them with something hard, like the blunt end of your knife or a small anchor. When they're all busted up, scoop them up and throw them in the pot of trying-to-boil water.

Have a cup of rum while you watch the black mess bubble and roll. Ponder how you're going to steal a few eggs from the cook.  Yes really.  Now go do it.

Got yer eggs?  Great!  Crack 'em into the pot. Throw the shells in for good measure.  Most of the grounds will cling to the eggs as they cook and you can scoop them out. Don't eat them unless you like crunchy eggs.

Now!  Take yer ladle... wait, I didn't tell you to steal a ladle from the cook, did I?  Go do that.  Stop givin' me that look. And find a mug, too! I'll wait.

Oh, good, ye'r back.  No, I don't know how your rum bottle got empty, it musta evaporated while you were gone. Anyway, ladle up some coffee into yer mug, and enjoy! 

Oh, I forgot to tell ye to put the fire out, didn't I? Funny how buckets melt after a time, isn't it?

Shiver Me Timbers Pirate Pie Pops

Pirates are scurvy, dirty creatures.  Pirates are fearsome, and should be avoided at ALL costs!

.... now that's just silly. Pirates are adorable. Really we are. Don't bother knotting those purse strings, just come on over and sit a spell. We'll have herbal tea and discuss the latest in doily patterns.

Okay, maybe that's absurd in the opposite extreme, but really, Pirates Are Cute! And I bring ye proof positive. Cause the proof isn't in the pudding, as the saying goes, the proof is in the PIE.

Shiver Me Timbers Pirate Pie Pops

Thanks to Bubble and Sweet's creator, Linda of Australia,  for teaching us how to make these!  If you want to learn how to make more goodies on a stick, she's got herself a cookbook ye can buy!

Sweets on a Stick: More Than 150 Kid-Friendly Recipes for Cakes, Candies, Cookies, and Pies on the Go!

Thanks to Kimika Ying of Armada's Scoundrel Fleet for this discovery! 

Dire Times Menus

New Babbage Commodore Jedburgh Dagger didn't become the formidable power that she is simply by looking good in a uniform (which she does) or only on her brilliant tactical mind (which she has).  Sometimes it comes down to yer belly (She's got one of those too), and trying to keep it sated during hard times. On the high seas, sometimes you make do with what you have.

MILLER STEW

• 6 to8 good sized Millers
• 2 lg onions, chopped
• 7 cups water
• 4 cups canned tomatoes
• 6 med.potatoes, peeled and diced
• 2 cups whole kernel corn
• 2 Tablespoon butter
• 5 teaspoons salt
• 2 teaspoons pepper

Instructions

1. Cook millers until done in water. Remove millers from broth, separate meat from bones and shred meat.
2. Dip off as much fat from the broth as possible.
3. Simmer potatoes in 1 cup of broth in covered saucepan until done, do not drain. Mash potatoes slightly, keeping them lumpy.
4. Add corn, onions, salt, and pepper to broth.
5. Cover and simmer for 20 minutes.
6. Add potatoes and millers and simmer slowly with lid off for at least 45 minutes.
7. Right before serving, stir in butter and let it melt.

 In case you are curious now, during the great ‘Age of Sail’, seamen tired of eating the standard ship’s fare of hardtack and salted meat were known to catch and eat ship's rats. Rats were referred to as "millers" as they were often found dusted with flour from the ship's stores.

Occasionally, the situation calls for even more drastic measures.


My Little Seabiscuit Pie

· 2 pounds of pony meat, trimmed of cell shading, cubed
· 2 medium onions, chopped fine
· 2 carrots, thinly sliced
· 2 bottles of Porter
· 4 to 6 hardtack crackers/pilot bread/sea bicuits

Put meat, onions, and carrots into pot. Pour one bottle of porter into pot, one into cook. Cover remainder of ingredients with water and simmer for one-half hour covered. Open pot and place hardtack on top of mixture to cover. Replace lid on pot, simmer for one and one-half hour.

(this is actually based on another authentic Age of Sail Sea-pie recipe)